June 2, 2009

Loss of innocence

I really hoped it wouldn't happen so quickly. We're close to losing our innocence not once, but several times, in different contexts and under several circumstances. However, our inner survival kit helps us hang on to our childhood and keeps the dream intact.
Yesterday, my kit was just not powerful enough. In the morning, shopping for fresh fruit down at the market in Ligota - there's nothing more refreshing than all those colors and smells waiting to be taken home - I saw a clown. They've given me the creeps ever since I can remember. Maybe it's some childhood trauma that I never managed to overcome, once I made a fool of myself in a supermarket when a green haired clown tried to be nice and offer me a balloon, and I ran off screaming, the thing is I simply can't deal with them. But yesterday... yesterday was the drop that filled the glass. There he was, strolling in my cute little market and spreading some leaflets. The clown in tights. Really, really tight tights. The red nose and the pink wig did confirm the fact that he intended to dress up as a clown, so did the make-up. But tights? What ever happened to clowns in baggy pants and ridiculously huge shoes? Who allows them to get out there dressed like that? He showed up next to me and tried to hand me a leaflet, and of course I did the only thing conceivable under such circumstances: I ran away, leaving behind the most perfect zucchini.
I could barely recover from the shock, came back home and tried to forget all about it. Later on that night, while enjoying my latest discovery, a vodka-cactus-lime drink which is also to be found at the market in Ligota, I decided it was about time I did some writing. So I sat down in front of my laptop, resting my hands on the stuffed puppy designed for people who spend too much time writing, to prevent those annoying aches in your wrists, going all the way up to the shoulder. And then I saw it. My stuffed puppy who, by the way, doesn't have eyes, has a penis. Just for the record, I would like to add that it also has a tail, so it's not my imagination running wild and mistaking the tail for a penis.
Clowns wear tights and stuffed puppies have penises.
I don't care what people wear and I do believe we're all free to make our choices when it comes to clothes. But clowns in tights? This is where my tolerance and open-mindedness refuse to cooperate. I'm also aware of the fact that puppies have penises. Real puppies. Stuffed ones have big, cartoon-like puppy eyes and sometimes a red ribbon. Some newer models bark or sing if you squeeze their paw.
It is commonly believed that one loses innocence when figuring out that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy aren't real, when beginning to experiment with drugs and alcohol, when losing virginity or when paying the first bills in a new home, as a responsible adult, away from the parents. Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny say the 4th grade is the end of innocence, the loss of the playful youth our parents warned us about.
I would like to add clowns and puppies to the list.

1 comment:

Biluś said...

Leave those puppies alone, but you can huddle together for warmth...