Updates

Normally, there's two possible reasons for not writing (be it posts on this blog, diary entries, articles, the book, shopping lists, homework, you name it). I'm either uberhappy and busy doing something that keeps me uberhappy, or not so happy, fighting my way out of a mood that might be described as a mild depression. I wasn't exactly uberhappy in this place. After a first month of excitement, discoveries, new people & new places, I found myself somewhat trapped in pattern that resembled very little to what I had pictured before leaving to Poland.

• school: except for a very cool and entertaining Theory of Literature course, school is not at all challenging. It's not the place to remind me I have a brain that I can actually use. And I hate the Polish language course (which was supposed to be the core structure of my education here), because these people don't really have a method. Plain and simple. And they're against dictionaries, which I think is the dumbest thing ever, since most of the times I need to know the exact meaning of the word, not just some vague definition that's also in Polish. They also appear to like people who are into group activities - singing Polish carols, acting in the Christmas play, all the elementary school crap which I don't give a rat's ass about.
• work: the tent lost its magic, but gained consistence. I'm somewhat part of it, not just an observer, and that helps documenting the book. It also nurtures my obsession for The Book With No Name and for Sanchez the bartender. But there had to be life outside the tent, as well.
• my personal projects (the tons of translations, the book about Poland, my final paper, and let's not forget learning Polish) - just couldn't find the energy for them. I knew I had to do something, I just couldn't pull myself together.

But I did. Because I hated this pattern and I hated being so completely miserable. So now I have a new pattern.

• the library: worth spending time there, especially when there's a paper to be written. I already have the plan (3 pages, in Polish, about the image of Warsaw between the two world wars and in the occupation years, reflected in poetry).
• new places: Kato is not a bad place in itself, it's just that once in a while you need to get out of it, and that's that. So last week I was in Bielsko-Biala at my first punk-rock concert (Koniec Swiata, which in Polish means the end of the world. Well, if this is how the end of the world looks and sounds, what can I say, full speed ahead!) and then with Asia, Jarek, Adam, Ania and Rafal to a party in an art gallery, which was quite fun despite the not so numerous crowd. It was back then that Ania told me I should stop being depressed and start climbing :) After Bielsko, it was time for Gliwice, which is one of the prettiest cities in the area, even though it does not have a Christmas fair. I think Maciek still hates me for dragging him around the center, in a quest for something that does not exist, but overall the day we spent in Gliwice was so nice that I decided to skip classes. As far as the Christmas fair is concerned, we're going to Krakow on Thursday :)
• climbing: Ania was right. While trying to figure out my next move up on the wall, with my hands shaking because of the complete lack of excercise (all my life I've been running away from sports, this is the proof that wheels do turn) I couldn't think of how depressed I was. And I couldn't think about it the day after, as well, because I was focused on the new pain sensations that were going through my body, especially my hands. Trafo kicks ass!
• work: since I found out there is life outside the tent, I've become much happier with my work, which is now just one of the sources of entertainment, not the one and oly source. Again, I've learnt that overdosing (on anything) is not ok.
• school: I'm not in the Christmas play (I keep thinking about this episode of South Park whenever I hear about the play), I'm not going to the party on Wednesday to sing Polish carols and speak about Christmas traditions in our countries, and they'll probably end up not liking me, but that's ok, since I'm not exactly their #1 fan.
• the rest of the projects: I did get back to translating, I'm trying to put together some material for the book, and yes, I still love learning Polish, and if school is not the best place for it, then the tent definitely is, and there's also a new project that might just do the trick. I'll be back with the details.