October 25, 2010

Tranquility. With a twist

Things are finally looking normal around here. Everything appears to be in order, no mismatches, no dramas, no bad karma. Even time management doesn't seem to be an issue anymore and that is truly amazing. I actually had time to wander the streets of Praga with one of my friends, looking for the perfect fabric for my first authentic rumba dress. It was easier than we expected, and the fact that K. can do wonders with nothing more but scissors and a sewing machine translates into a fabulous dress that's already on its way, ready to meet my new dance shoes.
I recently figured it took me almost 8 months to recover from this spring's emotional equivalent of the crash of 1929. It dawned on me one sunny, windy morning, while I was walking to work and the air smelled just like it did back in spring, when I spent a few weeks learning to control my tears and trying to bring myself back on track. It did take me a lot of time to be back to my old self and see things clearly, and I also learned there are emotional dramas that I can overcome and others I have to learn to live with. I miss my Gran every single day, with no exception, and this has probably been the toughest experience I ever went through. The wound is still there, still open and something tells me it's going to stay that way. In a way, I don't think I'd want it to close.
Finding my old self and realizing we can still relate could only mean one thing: it's time to get back in the game, which in this case means it's time to go back to school. This was the missing piece in my puzzle: the Uni. And a program so complex and smart, yet relaxed and dynamic, it almost appears to have been tailored especially for me, just like the black satin rumba dress.
I'm looking at a week off and surprisingly I'm planning to spend it in the coziness of my vanilla scented, smoke free apartment (I think I quit smoking, although this seems like a very serious decision and I'm not sure it's irreversible), sleeping late, editing the translation I'm finally done with, spending long hours with Kindle and all the wonderful books I already filled his head with, only leaving the house to go to the library and to dance practice. And Kato, later this week. It's about time I went back.
Of course it's peaceful and serene times like these that give birth to the most outrageous and implausible thoughts which, in my case, instantly turn into plans. I think change might be around the corner, although for the time being it does not involve any new cities, or at least not new homes in new cities, but rather a lot of research. It does, however, involve other serious changes and I just love the way life writes its own scenarios, coming up with twists of events I wouldn't have thought possible.

3 comments:

chuckie said...

wow, that sounds so... cosy? autumn-like? miss you, honey-bun :)

Ruxandra said...

And it feels even better than it sounds :) Maybe the time has come to pay me a visit, apparently Warsaw is very in this season. And that way we could finally catch up.

chuckie said...

it's on my to do's list :)