It almost felt like I’ve only been gone on a holiday. A longer one, but nevertheless a holiday. Warsaw still seemed so strangely familiar, that I kept living with the impression I never actually left. Two years ago, I fell in love with Warsaw. It was the kind of love that’s beyond words and has no reasonable explanation. Up to this date, I can’t answer the simple questions why Polish? why Warsaw? Not that I analyzed it too much. One month was more than enough to swipe me off my feet. Come to think about it, I had all the symptoms: butterflies and hurricanes, sleepless nights without grumpy mornings, light thoughts and bright smiles. I even cried when it was over. For some reason, this was the only place where I’ve remembered how it feels to feel secure. When I was about 5, I used to walk a lot with my Dad. We don’t do that anymore, since now we mostly take the car, even if it’s not always necessary. And now we don’t hold hands anymore. Even if we did, I’ve lost that feeling of security that holding hands with him used to give me when I was still a little girl. Somehow, I remembered that feeling, although couldn’t name it from the very beginning, when coming to Warsaw. It was almost as if the city took me by the hand and made me feel secure again. And happy. The mere happiness that requires no further arguments.
It so happened that this year some people in advertising figured out they might talk others into falling in love with Warsaw. There’s one message you can’t ignore once you’re out in the streets: zakochaj się w Warszawie. On buses, flyers, posters all over the place, touristic guides and maps, basically everywhere. The people responsible for this should have used me as a poster child. I’m pretty damn sure the result they want to achieve is very similar to what I’m going through.
For reasons beyond my will, my body had to leave Poland for a month-and-something. The brain & heart chose to remain there. The body was on the edge of a depression. It was smoking inertly out on the balcony, hoping time would just pass by. There was not much to do, nothing that could compensate, at least partly, the brutal break up with the city. The brain & heart are doing just fine, thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment